BREAKING: 17-year cicadas outraged to find temperatures unchanged

“It may be mating time, but this cicada is not happy.”

We’ve been patiently sucking roots underground for 17 years. Now billions of us dig for the surface and what do we find? Pretty much the same world temperatures we had when we went under and America smack in the middle of one of the coldest starts to spring since humans started keeping records.


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