“Scotland will not die of cancer or heart disease or alcoholism; it will die of [green] misery instead.”
Kevin McKenna writes in The Observer,
I can’t recall if there was a significant event that set me on my renewable journey. Perhaps it was the realisation that my carbon footprint, which had, I reckon, been trudging along at a complacent 5.5, really needed some attention. And although I would never have considered myself to be a climate-denier, I was always sceptical of the Hallelujah chorus proclaiming the environment to be the new global religion. Like Chicken-licken and Hen-len, I took to venturing out each morning wondering if today was the day when the sky would fall in. All I can say is that, having been washed in the renewable waters of sustainability, I’m having a jolly good time.
An early test of just how profound has been my conversion was when I came recently to buy a car. Previously, I had deployed a regrettably jejeune attitude to carbon emissions. Does anyone really gives a tinker’s toerag about fuel emissions as long as the Chinese are singlehandedly wrecking the planet? This time, I bought myself an unfussy and low-emission wee jalopy that is as carbon-friendly as a soya bean supper.
It seems that the motor had qualified for a low-emission badge on account of the engine automatically cutting out when it becomes stationary at traffic lights. Unfortunately, I was trying to look for the cigarette lighter when the chap from the dealership was telling me about this. On the first few occasions it happened, I was taken by surprise and thus accosted by impatient motorists with that unseemly highway semaphore that all male drivers use to convey impatience on the road. But I overcame these early jitters and am now quite smug and supercilious when the engine cuts out. That’s another couple of Arctic terns I’ve saved, I tell myself…
I love being all green and environmental and carbon-efficient these days. Nobody forced me; it was a free choice. Others may feel it is a waste of time. Soon, though, they will be made to bend the knee when this government, as it will, is compelled to pass a law enforcing the new green living laws.
Scotland will not die of cancer or heart disease or alcoholism; it will die of misery instead.