Andrew Bolt: Why hasn’t an alien rung [Australian Greens Leader] Bob [Brown]?

Which leader of a major political party in our 21st century democracy would start a speech to the faithful in terms so bizarre:

Fellow Earthians,

Never before has the Universe unfolded such a flower as our collective human intelligence, so far as we know.

Nor has such a one-and-only brilliance in the Universe stood at the brink of extinction, so far as we know.

We people of the Earth exist because our potential was there in the Big Bang, 13.7 billion years ago, as the Universe exploded into being.

So far, it seems like we are the lone thinkers in this vast, expanding Universe. However, recent astronomy tells us that there are trillions of other planets circling Sunlike stars in the immensity of the Universe, millions of them friendly to life. So why has no one from elsewhere in the Cosmos contacted us?

Surely some people-like animals have evolved elsewhere. Surely we are not, in this crowded reality of countless other similar planets, the only thinking beings to have turned up. Most unlikely! So why isn’t life out there contacting us? Why aren’t the intergalactic phones ringing?

Here is one sobering possibility for our isolation: maybe life has often evolved to intelligence on other planets with biospheres and every time that intelligence, when it became able to alter its environment, did so with catastrophic consequences. Maybe we have had many predecessors in the Cosmos but all have brought about their own downfall.

That’s why they are not communicating with Earth. They have extincted themselves.

Why is Bob Brown not treated by journalists as a plainly irrational man – a catastrophist on a religious crusade to make us poorer? Where is not only the mockery but alarm that should greet his mad fantasies – fantasies which would, should they ever be realised, leave our destiny in the hands of people overseas we could never elect or unelect?

Let us here in Hobart, and around the world, highly resolve that through global democracy we shall save the Earth from perishing…

So let us resolve that there should be established for the prevalence and happiness of humankind a representative assembly, a global parliament, for the people of the Earth, based on the principle of one person one vote one value; and to enable this outcome that it should be a bicameral parliament with its house of review, having equal representation elected from every nation.

Herald Sun

5 responses to “Andrew Bolt: Why hasn’t an alien rung [Australian Greens Leader] Bob [Brown]?

  1. Eric Baumholer

    If this isn’t a hoax, it’s at least a parody.

  2. This is awful close to April Fool’s Day.

  3. Well, he is preaching to the converted, but did any of them just look at one another and think ‘we’re in coo-coo land’?
    I too thought it was a parody on first reading, but this guy is really serious!
    Still, there aren’t too many of them left and with only 2 in Queensland, thankfully, they can’t do too much mischief.
    Pity about the Tasmanian government though. The Premier is all gleeful about the roll out of the NBN to 17,000 homes with more to follow. Poor deluded thing. Only 700 have taken up the offer.
    Maybe, it’s the inbreeding in Tasmania?

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